Firo: Optimizing California’s reservoirs and saving every drop?

Alright, so California thinks it can "outsmart Mother Nature" with this new FIRO thing? Forecast Informed Reservoir Operations. Sounds like a load of tech-bro nonsense to me.

The Hubris is Real

Let's be real, this is just another example of humans thinking they're smarter than, well, everything. We've been trying to control nature since, like, forever, and how's that working out for us? Spoiler alert: not great.

They're all excited about atmospheric rivers now, like they just discovered water in the sky. Newsflash: it's been raining for millennia. Now they think they can predict exactly when and where these "rivers" are gonna dump, and adjust the reservoirs accordingly. Give me a break.

Dr. Marty Ralph, bless his heart, is out there talking about "surgically precise sampling" of storms. Sounds impressive, right? But what happens when the surgery goes wrong? What happens when the forecast is off, and they release all that water only to find out the storm veered off course? Oops, now we're bone dry and we flooded everything downstream for no reason.

And they expect us to believe this nonsense, and honestly...

Dual Purpose? More Like Dual Problem

The core problem, as I see it, is this whole "dual-purpose reservoir" idea. They want to store water for droughts and keep space open for flood control. That's like trying to drive two cars at once. It ain't gonna work smoothly.

They're talking about Water Control Manuals that haven't been updated since the freakin' 50s. Seriously? We're relying on technology from the Eisenhower era to manage our water supply in the age of AI? That's insane. It's like using a rotary phone to run a data center.

These manuals are supposed to have "reservoir rule curves" dictating how much water to keep in the reservoirs. But those curves are based on outdated weather patterns and old data. So, they're basically guessing.

And the Army Corps of Engineers is in charge of this? The same Army Corps that brought us levees that failed in New Orleans? No offense to the brave men and women in uniform, but maybe water management should be left to, I don't know, hydrologists?

Offcourse, I'm sure there's some bureaucrat patting themselves on the back for this "innovation."

The "Benefits"

Oh, and let's not forget the supposed "benefits" of FIRO. Increased water availability, reduced flood risk, drought resilience... It's the holy trinity of water management buzzwords. But what's the actual track record?

They point to Lake Mendocino as a success story. Okay, fine. But what about the other reservoirs? What about the long-term effects on the ecosystem? Are we just robbing Peter to pay Paul here, screwing over some other part of the state to make Lake Mendocino look good? New Forecast-Informed Decision-Making Tool Implemented at Northern California Reservoir

And then there's the cost. All this "cutting-edge technology" and "surgical sampling" ain't free. Who's paying for it? The taxpayers, of course. We're shelling out millions of dollars for a system that might work, while our schools are crumbling and our roads are falling apart. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Wait, am I being too harsh? Maybe I'm just a cynical old bastard who hates progress. Nah, let's be real, I'm probably right.

So, What's the Real Story?

This is California, baby. We're experts at creating elaborate solutions to problems we created ourselves. FIRO is just the latest example. It's a high-tech band-aid on a gaping wound, and it's probably gonna fall off the second things get really bad.