So, Kimberly-Clark is swallowing Kenvue whole, huh? Almost $50 billion. Let's be real, folks, does anyone actually need more Kleenex options? Or another damn Band-Aid variation? I didn't think so. But hey, Wall Street's gotta Wall Street, right?
The official line is that Kimberly-Clark shareholders will own about 54% of the combined monstrosity, while Kenvue shareholders get the scraps at 46%. They're calling it a "merger." I call it what it is: a takeover disguised with some fancy PR talk. And what do we, the consumers, get? Fewer choices, higher prices, and the warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing our money is funding some CEO's bonus.
It's like they're playing Monopoly with our lives, except nobody gets to pass "Go" and collect $200. We just get bled dry.
And the brands... oh, the brands. Tylenol, Listerine, Band-Aid, Cottonelle, Huggies, and Kleenex all under one roof. It's not about innovation or serving the public; it's about market domination. Plain and simple. Is there even a point in pretending anymore?
Of course, they're promising "approximately $1.9 billion in cost savings within the first three years." Translation: mass layoffs and corner-cutting on product quality. "Synergy" is just corporate code for "we're gonna squeeze every last drop of profit out of this thing, even if it means screwing over the employees and the customers."
And who's staying on top? Mike Hsu, Chairman and CEO of Kimberly-Clark. Shocking, I know. Three members of Kenvue's board will tag along for the ride, probably with golden parachutes the size of small countries.
But here's where it gets extra greasy: Kenvue was just spun off from Johnson & Johnson two years ago. Two years! They couldn't even give the poor thing a chance to breathe before selling it off. Makes you wonder what kind of long-term planning is actually happening in these boardrooms.
I mean, what was the point of the spin-off in the first place? Was it always the plan to flip it for a quick buck? And what does that say about J&J's leadership?
Oh, and let's not forget the Kenvue/Tylenol baggage, with the whole autism/vaccine conspiracy theory BS fueled by Trump and RFK Jr. Kenvue can claim "independent, sound science" all they want, but the stain is there. And now Kimberly-Clark inherits it. Great.
Offcourse, the FDA advises doctors to "consider minimizing" acetaminophen use during pregnancy, which is hardly a ringing endorsement. It's all just a big, messy pile of uncertainty and potential liability.
Shares of Kimberly-Clark tanked 13% on Monday. Kenvue's stock jumped, sure, but that's just vulture capitalists cashing in on the carcass. Is this really a win for anyone besides the executives and shareholders who are already rich? Kimberly-Clark buying Tylenol maker Kenvue in $48.7 billion deal - AP News
This isn't about making better products or serving the public. This is about power, control, and maximizing profit at all costs. And honestly, I'm sick of pretending otherwise. The whole thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. A big, corporate, "we own you now" kind of taste.
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